Super College Bros Melee!
by Tiger Comedy
Summary: Teachers will suffer and other students will go insane while the clubs will burn to the ground! The college will be litterally jumping and the Smashers will be the cause! Second chap. is phys. ed. and just GUESS what happens then...
1. Drama and Tylenol

Disclaimer: Don't own MBSS… oh wait that ain't right… I mean SSBM… I also don't own Tylenol… I OWN NOTHING! YAY! Wait a minute, that's a bad thing… OH NO!

Author's Note: LET'S ALL PRAY FOR NEW ORLEANS! GO NEW ORLEANS PEOPLE! YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT! WHOO! Sorry, I'm on sugar…

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Take 1 for 'Mushy Gushy Soaps'… I like cheese…

"Uh… Dr. Marion… um… did you say that I will live for… ALRIGHT, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NUMBER?" Kirby screamed at the director, completely aggravated at the number he couldn't read. The director sighs and looks in his script.

"2." The director answered tired of working with idiots. "Alright, starting from the top, people…!"

Take 2! I'M SO HAPPY!

"Dr. Marion, did you say that I will… live for 2 months…?" Kirby rehearsed unsurely, trying to read the 'words that don't make sense'.

"Yes that is what I-a said! Too-a bad…" Dr. Marion--… pardon me, Dr. Mario said while reading his script.

"OMFG, NO! Uh… my hot wife please hold- WHOA." Kirby breathed out once he saw Peach in a skin-tight, pink tank top and a pair of really tight short-shorts. "Oh jeez… please… um… hold me…?" The pink blob stuttered as he couldn't help but stare at Peach's chest. Peach giggled and held him. Kirby fainted leaving Peach dumbfounded.

"Oops… what did I do…?"

"Oh my Go- CUT!" The director screamed through his megaphone. He rubbed his temples. "Okay Kirby what the HELL was that bullshit?" The director sputtered out angrily and loudly. Kirby didn't speak because he fainted. "ANSWER ME, MAN!"

"Mr. Dick, is class over yet? I've got to go piss…" Captain Falcon murmured while holding his place and dancing around. The drama teacher didn't hear him since he took so much Tylenol that he passed out. Captain Falcon whimpered and started to dance away while gnawing at his lower lip trying not to think of pissing in his new baggy shorts.

Samus rolled her eyes under her helmet.

"Captain Dork-on, his name isn't Dick it's, Mr. Rick…" Samus corrected the prancing teen still trying not to pee. He glared at 'Miss Know-it-all' in a quick second before he started to jump so much that it didn't even look like dancing anymore.

"I'M GONNA EXPLODE!" Captain Falcon screamed right before dashing into the men's room like his race car. Zelda was doing her make-up while Donkey-Kong was smashing the lights and jumping around like an… uh…ape… (God, that didn't sound right.)

That's when he bumped into Zelda intentionally and caused her lipstick to slip into her eye. She yelped and held her eye. Zelda shot daggers at Donkey Kong who was going ape. (Yeah, I know, crappy.) She turned into Sheik and then literally starting shooting daggers at Donkey Kong's ass. He screeched and held his butt while running away from the dagger-wielding lady/man.

Luigi was girly fighting his brother, Mario and Link was admiring his face in his mirror. Mario and Luigi's fight bumped into Link and his mirror broke. Link screeched and got a nervous breakdown.

Pichu was scurrying around until he bumped into the passed out drama teacher. Pichu noticed something in his drama teacher's pocket and grinned evilly. The little, yellow creature shuffled through Mr. Rick's pocket and got out his wallet. He shoved it into his own 'pocket' and started scurrying around again like nothing happened.

Pikachu stared blankly at the chaos and started picking at his ear.

Mr. Game and Watch was bumping into walls and preaching beeping profanities. (Yes, really bad punch line.)

Mewtwo was focusing on his powers while Roy and Marth were sword fighting. Jigglypuff was bumped into and got really mad so she started to sing. Everyone suddenly stopped what they were doing and getting tired. They started to falldown like flies and in no time, everyone was asleep. Jigglypuff puffed up in anger and started marking everyone's faces with her marker of evil…

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Anyone who reads this, please oh PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE, I'M BEGGING ON MY KNEES HERE!

I love you guys...


	2. Phys Ed is Abusive to Labor

Disclaimer: Do not own SSBM or Tylenol. If I did, then would I be here typing on my cheap computer instead of swimming in money? I wish I were rich…

A/N: I'd just like to thank every single reviewer for reviewing me. You're so nice! I LOVE YOU GUYS! (Hugs you so hard that you die) (Notices you died) EVERYTHING I TOUCH **DIES**! (Cries)

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"GET TO THE FLOOR AND GIVE ME 1,000,000,000,000 YOU MAGGOTS!" The gym teacher roared into Link's ear. Link screamed and fainted. Silence floated in the atmosphere until Samus broke the silence.

"Nice…" Samus said sarcastically rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. The gym teacher got a blanket and wrapped Link's body in it. He pulled it into a closet and slammed the door.

"That never happened! NOW GIVE ME THOSE PUSH-UPS YOU LAZY BUMS!" Mr. Payne barked with veins forming around his eyes and bulging under his skin. The smashers flinched and got to the floor.

1,000,000… uh… whatever push-ups later…

Everyone is still on the floor but dying from exhaustion. Kirby takes out his puffers and starts using them while Samus was clawing at the ground moaning for water. Captain Falcon was hyperventilating and the Mario bros. passed out. The others were still trying to make the final touches but they were all groaning and didn't even bother with it. The gym teacher walked into the center of the room, stepping on Marth and Roy on the way.

"OK that's enough! Now we're going to play a classic sport that my gang and I used to play! It's called…"

"Please not dodge ball, please not dodge ball, please not dodge ball, please not dodge ball…" Fox pleaded silently with his hands clasped together and his eyes closed, obviously praying to God.

"Football!" The coach shouted, grabbing a cap and winter coat. "Outside!"

"DODGE BALL COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!" Fox cried to the sky.

"Mr. Cramp, sir, I'd like to say that IT'S FRIKKIN' FREEZING OUTSIDE! WE CAN'T GO OUT THERE! WE'LL FREEZE TO DEATH! I should know I'm a doctor." Dr. Mario advised. Mr. Cramp rolled his eyes.

"A doctor is the last thing we need. Now… GET MOVING YA SLACKERS!"

"SIR, YES, SIR!" Everyone shouted before saluting and running out.

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Outside in the -50 degree snowy weather…

"SIR, I THINK I'M DYING OF HYPOTHERMIA!" Falco shouted, rubbing his arms desperately to fetch at least a bit of warmth.

"AND MY MANICURE IS RUINED!" Zelda screeched, staring at her broken nail.

"OH, BOOHOO! WHY DON'T YOU FRET ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MATTER IN LIFE LIKE… oh I don't know, your **FRIGGIN' HEALTH!**" Samus snapped, shivering in the cold.

"OH AND MY **MANICURE** ISN'T IMPORTANT?" Zelda snapped back turning to Samus.

"NO, YOU WANT TO KNOW **WHY? **BECAUSE MANICURES DON'T KEEP YOU **ALIVE!**" Samus spat with her eyes that probably flashed red from anger and frustration. They glared at each other with hate until Zelda answered in a simple tone.

"Yes, they do." Samus suddenly heard something snap in her head- Zelda's neck. Samus was about to blast her away until she was hit by a football.

"Uh… FORE!" Marth exclaimed from the background. Mewtwo grabbed the ball with his powers and shot it at Captain Falcon freezing face.

"OH GOD, MY FACE!" Captain Falcon snapped covering his face and sinking to his knees, screaming like a sissy.

"Damn it Falcon, you were supposed to catch it!" Mewtwo snarled.

"STOP BEING SISSIES, YOU SISSIES! YOU GOT TO TAKE THE COLD LIKE A MAN!" Then the coach, who was probably in 30 layers of clothing, spotted Samus, Zelda and Peach leaving for the door. "OR LADY!"

"My God…"

"My father will here about this!"

"MY MANICURE IS DYING!"

"Anyway," The coach began again. "WE USED TO WALK IN THE SNOW AND RAIN AND WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN! NOT IN THE ARMY! HELL, WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO EVEN OPEN OUR MOUTHES ONCE IN THE ARMY! NO NEED TO ANYWAY! ALL WE WERE OBLIGATED TO DO WAS FIGHT UNTIL THE ENEMY LOST! NOW GET MOVING OR I'LL **MAKE **YOU MOVE!" Mr. Payne barked like a bulldog as everyone whimpered with hesitation and kept moving.

Much tackling and hypothermia later…

Everyone is on the football field dying from the cold and frostbite.

"Can't… move… legs… must… crawl… for… shelter…" Marth groaned before passing out. Samus, Captain Falcon, Fox, Falco, Pikachu and Pichu were shivering like crazy while all the rest were literally turned to ice. Samus couldn't take it anymore and she snapped.

"COACH, WE CAN'T PLAY ANYMORE! WE'RE TIRED, WE'RE PARALYZED AND WE'RE **FRIGGIN' FREEZING!**"

"Yeah, Mr. P, we can't play anymore! We can't play good if you're going for the abusing-of-labor stuff!" Falco agreed, still frantically rubbing himself, in desperate need for warmth. Before Mr. Payne can even answer the bell rang and everybody (excluding the people turned to ice) started to scream with joy. They all ran in and the icicle people shuffled to the door before the coach could order them to hit the showers.

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Next class: Foreign languages… (WARNING: WILL have VERY SHITTY PRONUNCIATIONS! You have been stupidly warned…) 


End file.
